My Little Miricle

On June 24Th 2011 we were swimming at MJ's community pool. I had my 3 kids and my little sister Sarah. There were 4 other moms and a bunch of kids. I looked away for a minute and Ryan was gone. I found him at the bottom of the pool. I quickly jumped in and pulled him out. He was lifeless and blue. The water was pouring out of his little body. I thought for sure he was gone. Another courageous mother came to my rescue and started CPR and reminded us all to plead with Heavenly Father for a miracle. My sister in law called 911. By the time the paramedics got there he was coughing a little but was limp and lethargic. No mother should ever have to see their child look like this. No sister or aunt should ever have to see there brother or nephew like this. The call I made to Mike was a really difficult one to update him on the situation. Besides a few choice words the first thing my wonderful husband said to me was that I should never blame my self and he would never blame me no matter the outcome. Despite he pain that he must have been feeling he was inspired to know the words that I needed to hear at that moment. I rode with Ryan to the hospital and he started screaming as soon as they started poking him with needles. This was the best sound I have ever heard. I was sure he was going to be OK, but was praying there would be no long term damage. Once we reached the hospital Mike arrived and went to Ryan's side. He started to talk to him in the deep voice that the two of them often use together saying "Ryan". Ryan opened his little mouth and said, "What." He was still with us and knew who we were. Once the doctors and nurses started to step back Mike and his brother gave Ryan a blessing. I went in and told him I loved him. He very faintly said, "I love you too, MOM." Over the next couple of hours he quickly recovered and after another overnight stay in the hospital they let us take our son home. Soon after returning home Ryan was back to his old tricks of jumping off furniture and fighting with his cousin Anna.

Why have we been so lucky that Heavenly Father has let us keep our little man? Maybe he knows that Mike and I are not strong enough to have handled any other outcome. Perhaps he has a great mission ahead of him in this life. The one thing I know for sure is that I will never look at him the same. I will hopefully never take for granted my role as a mother to these 3 wonderful children that Heavenly Father has entrusted me with. This was a wake up call for me of how fragile life is. I need to spend more time playing, loving, and teaching my children and less time doing the mundane things of life like cleaning.

One of the strangest things for me is that the entire time I was pregnant with Brynn, I had the horrible feeling that I would be at a pool and unable to save Ryan because I has holding Brynn. These thought have become a reality and I am so lucky he is still with us.

How do I go on now? The only thing I can see in my head is my baby at the bottom of a pool. Now that he is home we have talked to him about what happened. He remembers everything. He told us that he jumped in the water. Water was going in his nose and he was crying underwater. He said that he can remember me screaming. How do I help him forget this horrible near death experience? With the help of a my Father in Heaven and a wonderful family I know I can put these thoughts and feeling aside and focus on the gift I life that I have been given. I am forever indebted to all those that took part in helping save my little boy.